In 1967, a book was published titled, “I’m OK, You’re OK.” It sold hundreds of thousands of copies and became very popular. It stayed on the bestseller list for months. Why did it cause such a stir? After all, the author wasn’t revealing anything we didn’t already know. So why did so many people feel compelled to read it?
Perhaps because the idea of being “OK” felt new to many of us. Deep down, we often carry an uneasy feeling that we’re not OK. We struggle to see ourselves in a healthy, positive light. It’s easy to focus on our flaws while overlooking our merits – our intelligence, our strength and our goodness.
Sometimes, to feel better about ourselves, we compare ourselves to others. We might think, “I may not have the best job, but neither do they. I may not be in the best shape, but neither are they.” We search for people who seem worse off, zeroing in on their weaknesses to prop up our own self-image – almost like a subtle pecking order.
That’s exactly what the Pharisee did in today’s Gospel. He began his prayer with, “Thank God I am not like the rest of humanity.” He even invited God to admire all the “marvelous” things he’d done – fasting, giving away money, keeping the commandments. Yet, despite doing all the right things outwardly, Jesus tells us that his prayer was not acceptable.
Why not? Because true prayer never lifts us above others. No one who looks down on others can ever truly pray. The Pharisee trusted in his own self-righteousness and felt no need for God’s mercy. He was blind to his own weaknesses.
The tax collector, however, saw the truth. He knew he was a sinner and threw himself on God’s mercy. He believed, rightly, that God is not a cold, distant judge – but One deeply involved in the lives of those who turn to Him, even becoming their advocate.
Christ asks us to pray like the tax collector: to be honest with ourselves, to face our flaws and to admit our need for reconciliation. That takes humility. It means being willing to grow, to change, to forgive.
The tax collector had no illusions about himself; he knew he needed God’s mercy. The Pharisee, blinded by his own glowing self-image, never even asked for it. And I suspect both men got exactly what they prayed for.
My friends, when you pray, strive to be like the tax collector. Become aware of your weaknesses, but confident in God’s compassion, love and mercy. He is the God who stands by us, no matter what.
And if that doesn’t make us “OK,” then what does?
Yes, Father. It is too often too easy to fall back into unhelpful comparisons with this, with that and so forth! Time to rest assured, instead, in His love for us, his plan for us, for both challenges and good things ahead… knowing that we belong to him.
I enjoy all of Fr. Bob’s homilies. Excellent. Thank You!
Thank you for making available weekly