Many years ago, a remarkable psychiatrist named Karl Menninger wrote a book titled, “Whatever Became of Sin?” In one chapter, he boldly quoted the First Letter of John: “If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.”
The truth is, we all sin. We admit it every time we pray the words Jesus taught us in today’s Gospel: “Forgive us our trespasses.” In Scripture, sin is often seen as rebellion against God. In the Old Testament, to sin meant knowingly and deliberately rejecting God’s will. To sin is to untie a bond, to damage a relationship and to pull away from the love God offers freely.
Yet few of us sin with the intention of directly offending God. Rarely do we curse Him in cold blood. More often, our sins are against one another – against the people made in God’s image. Most of the time, sin looks like impatience, dishonesty, gossip, bitterness – the ways we fail to love, even those closest to us. Then there are those persistent sins that surface again and again in confession: the sharp word, the rash judgment, the stubborn grudge.
And still, there are the sins we don’t speak about as often – the sins of omission. These are the moments in which we fail to act. When someone needs our help, and we turn away. When truth needs a voice, and we stay silent. When we watch someone take the blame so we can stay comfortable.
Let’s look at another line in the Gospel: “As we forgive those who trespass against us.” In other words, as God forgives us for our sins, we must forgive those who hurt us. But that’s no small task. It’s one thing to forgive what doesn’t cut deep. But when a betrayal hits close to home, when the wound is personal, forgiveness is slower, harder, even painful.
And sometimes – even when we say we forgive – we still make the other person feel the weight of their offense. Look at the parable of the prodigal son: the obedient brother couldn’t bring himself to celebrate the sinful brother’s return. He couldn’t forgive.
Forgiveness must also extend to ourselves. That can be even harder. Guilt lingers. Our pride bullies us. Our ego plays the role of accuser. We replay our failures. We struggle to let go of things God has already forgiven. We need to remember that God is not a scorekeeper. He is not a God of vengeance. He is a God of mercy. Jesus told us there is more rejoicing in Heaven over one repentant sinner than over 99 who have no need of repentance.
If God rejoices when we return to Him, it is not impossible for us to do the same. It may require us to swallow our pride, soften our hearts and offer kindness when we feel like holding back. But these gestures – both toward others and ourselves – can begin to heal and change hearts.
When I reflect on today’s Gospel, I think of another powerful teaching from Jesus: “If your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift at the altar. First, go and be reconciled with them. Then come and offer your gift.”
Have you ever done that? Do you need to?
JMJ+ Thank you, Fr. Bob for this reflection on forgiveness. Sometimes, even when I intellectually know something, it just doesn’t sink down to my heart. I have a friend with that same issue. I’ve been thinking about ways to help her resolve and dismiss some of what bothers her about forgiveness. And, me, as well. I think when we don’t have the chance to talk about what happened with the other person, we don’t understand and therefore find no rhyme, reason, or closure. And it just keeps spinning around in memory. I guess that leaves us with what JESUS said about forgiving because they don’t know what they are doing, but it seems as though some folks truly like inflicting evil upon others. That’s the hardest part to understand…why they do such awful things?